Nothing is happening. Everything is happening.

2018 has been weird so far. 

On Jan 3 I had bunion surgery.  Sexy, no?  No.  The long term goal is to be pain-free, but, that's long term.  Short term, it's been a bit rough.  I was two weeks non-weight bearing.  That meant lying around, scooting from couch to bed and back gain on a knee scooter, taking serious pain meds and sleeping a lot.  So: doing nothing.  On the other hand, I had beautiful friends bring me meals, cold Cokes, books, and essential oils; stop by to keep me company; and text text text to keep me entertained. Paul took care of all the household tasks and fetched whatever I needed, all with the patience of a saint. It meant everything.

Then it was into a boot and back to work; back to driving kids to and from; back to cheering at high school swim meets (from the deck because I wasn't about to take the stairs up to the bleachers); back to wanting to do everything I did before surgery but still being exhausted and sore and feeling like nothing I managed to do was up to snuff.

Eventually the boot came off and I am back in shoes.  By shoes I mean one pair of Adidas that I wear everyday.  They were my favorite before surgery, but now I'm not so sure (everyday, you guys).  And then the flu hit.  First my 17 year old son was struck with Influenza B one week before he was set to swim at state (the high school athlete's nightmare);  then I got it.  Tamiflu.  Cough syrup with codeine. Now flu's gone and in its place I have a "secondary infection" but I'm on day two of antibiotics and am hopeful that the end of illness is nigh.

It feels like I've done nothing but convalesce for two months.  That's probably because I've been convalescing for two months. It feels like I haven't been pulling my weight and I'm afraid I'm getting used to it and am becoming a lazy slob.  And I know I should be patient and gentle with myself, and give myself time, but...but...but...

And while I've been doing nothing, everything has been happening.  All the tracking for my album is done. I'm shooting for a May release.  My musical hero asked me to open for him and he is going to play and sing with me.  Darrell Scott is going to play on my songs.  He is going to sing on my songs.  Darrell Scott on my songs.  I'm trying really hard to play it cool.  It's nothing.  It's everything.  It all is, isn't it?

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